作者解释了为什么女性支持女性来说是前进之路

From a young age, I felt the soul-shaking influence of sisterhood and the stability this connection brings. Is there anything more powerful than an outstretched hand of another woman in your direction? For me, it was and continues to be a lifeline, especially since I became a mother. And yet when it comes to work, many women have experienced the opposite of this and have even been bullied by other women. It seems counterintuitive that we'd value these female friendships in our lives and turn on them at work.一些research认为这应归功于工作条件和态度的女性被要求以达到C-套件相适应。一articleeven suggests we "need to be 'half a bitch' to succeed." Yes, really.

This month, we're officially ditching the "bitchy" or "mean girls" approach forsupport and sisterhood，不辱，无论是在工作和生活中。我们转向了我们在这方面追求的第一人，是Alexandra Elle。诗人和作家已经收购谁希望进入她故意生活理念姐妹的部落。我经常检查她的Instagram的鼓舞人心的肯定和杂志的提示，但它是她的岗位关于庆祝另一个女人的胜利，真正击中了要害我。

It read:"Celebrating another woman's triumphs or success will never take away from your shine or glory. If anything, it'll add to it and create more light."So of course, we had to reach out and ask her to explain why it's important to do this and how we can get back to that. Step one is to show and extend genuine support. "If given a chance, listen to her story," she tells me. "It's human to feel competitive sometimes; it's normal to feel jealous, but we have to reel in those negative emotions and not let them dictate our relationships with one another."

这些连接已经在生活中作为一个母亲，作家自己的成功是至关重要的。“我的朋友是我的选择家庭，”她说。“我需要他们留在轨道让这些类型的深情的连接是非常重要的。他们让我和接地支持的感觉。”因此，力图真正的支持，而不是耻辱，这个月，我们问艾丽分享她对姐妹掌握几步之遥。

Elle asks us to put aside any perception we have or judgment of women that we're bitchy and hypercompetitive and instead focus on forming bonds with female co-workers and friends. "I only want to see the best things happen for the women around me," she says. "And the women I have in my circle or come across have been hyper-supportive of my journey. Now, of course, we may not always come across positive people who support us. But I don't feel that is a woman-centered issue; it's more of a 'type of person you are' thing."

随着推动性别平等，现在是时候让姐妹们联合起来，但一直一篇文章，建议以后的文章“女性似乎切下来的女性”，而不是支持或鼓励他们。但它只是根本不是那么回事，和Elle鼓励我们所有的培养在社区层面的合作关系。“有时候，我觉得这个社会喜欢我们诱骗思想，我们[女性]不能，或没有兴趣，和睦相处，共同工作，并支持彼此的站着，”她说。“我已经看到了我自己的眼睛相反。现在比以往任何时候都感觉我们正在携手合作，并庆祝不仅是我们的分歧，但相似之处。”

已经有今年几个强大的运动（思＃我也是中，妇女游行, and＃时间到）已经鼓励我们所有人联合起来，强制执行的巨变和社会的变化，以确保一个包容性的未来为所有妇女。正如塞巴斯蒂安·荣格尔在他写道：New York Timesbest-selling bookTribe，艾丽希望我们所有进军该部落的心态“因为它需要一个村庄茁壮成长，是伟大的，我们无法独自完成人生;它并不意味着要住这样的。”我们不能同意。

The media hype and cultural perceptions might showcase that women don't want to revel in another woman's success, but Elle sees things differently, and she wanted to usher in a new message with her Instagram post. "I wanted to remind people that we can still glow and be great in the light of someone else's success and triumphs," she says.

但我们如何学会在“她”的荣耀防晒和理解，看到她的闪耀让我们照吗？“通过沉默的消极的自我对话和自我怀疑的噪音，”艾丽说。“当我们发现自己质疑我们个人的荣耀，它创造了令人羡慕的空间。一旦我们发现一个方式来庆祝我们的光，生命和目的，我们将能够欣喜的我们邻居的真正”。

有没有像现在的时间。艾丽鼓励我们所有接触到的朋友，听听她的故事，晒她的成功，因为它只会有利于你的。“我的友谊是充满庆祝彼此的，”她说。“我的一位亲密的朋友正在写她的诗的第一本书。当她分享了这个和我在一起，我立刻赞扬她跳进是一位作家和分享她的故事。它使我们的债券增长得更多，因为支持和尊重别人的事项它不仅肯定了他们，但创建一个植根于信任，关爱和comradery的关系。”

总是如此鼓舞人心和Elle杂志的条目purposeful. So in a bid to get us all started on our "support, not shame" journey, we asked her to share a few journal questions. Answer them, send them to a friend, and keep the sisterhood circle alive.

1. What do I need to feel supported?

2. How does sisterhood show up in my life?

3. What are five reasons my past does not define my present?

4. What am I growing in my emotional garden, and what am I weeding out?

Finally, we asked Elle to share a special affirmation for you, our MyDomaine readers, to continue to inspire love and friendship across all facets of our lives. Print it out, make it your bookmark, or stick it somewhere you'll see it and reap the benefits every day.